Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Dear God,



TO: God

FROM: The Dog

Dear God: Is it on purpose that our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy', so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

6 Bones to Share:

Sadie said...

lol that's so cute!!

And what car is named after a dog?! I'm racking my brain! Am I just blond?

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Fisher said...

Hugo you are very clever and I think it is neat that you have so many issues to discuss with God. May your answers spur you on to keep this excellent blog going strong.

Lucia Bremen said...

Hu..go(d)!!! nice thoughts you have!!! that is dog´s life, things are not easy to understand and living with humans involves to adapt to all its environment.
God bless dogs!

Anonymous said...

A good idea is the best friend of man to share.

CĂ©line Rencontres said...

lol
It is really funny and nice.
Hugo your are very clever god, sorry doggg, Your writtinf is really cool and funny, but a litlle weird.

Thanks to have relax during the work